Archive for July 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011 § 5
Go on. Ask me how I'm doing.
I shall then answer "I'm absolutely hating my life right now,". To which I'll answer you with the biggest smile I could carve on my face.
I'm at the point where I have to constantly feed myself words of encouragement that has no absolute guarantee whatsoever, things like "It will all be alright, everything will turn out fine; it's hard now but it'll get easier for you later in the future,". Words that I know is far-fetched from reality, though without it I would sadly, drive myself insane. Sweet words that more or less fell from the sky, much like a politician's promise.
I wouldn't say I'm on the verge of insanity. That would be preposterous. So far I am doing mostly average. But it's like seeing that signboard that says "Plaza Tol Sungai Besi 2km". You know you're not there yet, but you know the road that you're on leads you to it.
Thursday, July 21, 2011 § 0
I am genuinely, seriously, really afraid now.
I manage to put things off, for one year now. And now it's here. It's finally arrived. I am freaking out.
God help me pull through this one, just like You helped me through the previous ones.
Real life finally begins.
Sunday, July 10, 2011 § 2
I have to admit: Facing conflict situations have never been one of my fortes.
I either admit an early defeat or avoid the conflict altogether. I just feel that by prolonging it, two parties could end up being hurt. My opinion is that at least one, the conflict would be dealt with quickly, and two, only one instead of two would be hurt.
As per mentioned in previous posts, we all know now I can't handle anger very well. It always, always comes back to me. Thus the premature white flag.
Although the effects are indeed, unhealthy.
It always, always eats me from the inside, without failure.
Friday, July 8, 2011 § 0
You start to sweat. Nervous. Your heart rate begins to climb.
You've got people coming in from the opposite direction. You look left, then you glance to the right. You get stares, waiting for the next move. You ask yourself: "What to do? When?". One wrong move, and you're definitely done for.
Such is the feeling of a learning driver approaching the scariest part of his learning process (apart from parallel parking, naturally): Being at crossroads.
Pardon me for being so philosophical about the most redundant thing in life. I do it ever so often though.
Crossroads. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. Which must one take?
One path being laid with such beautiful scenery. But so twisted is the road, one does not see what is on the other side. Risky. The other being plain, yet the destination is within sight. Safe.
The destination being: Love and happiness.
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