Mumbles. My mumbles. I mumble a lot.

I'm about to make a confession:

I'm a hypocrite. A big, fat one. (Owh here come the fat jokes!)

I publicly declare that I totally despise the English football team. Their goalkeeper has been nothing short of a disgrace, their loss to Germany was well deserved, they're nothing but a bunch of AGING celebrities who desperately need jobs to support their lavish lifestyles, and I made a fool of my brother for supporting them; I despise them for colonising my country, and I think most of them are basically pompous and arrogant (Thank the modern media for serving us the British stereotype. As we know, English characters are almost always emotionally constipated ).

Yet browse through my room, if you may. You'd find an England jersey in my cupboard, a huge hat I bought when I was in London embalmed with the English flag, I totally adore the British accent (I admit. I practice them in my monologues. Owh yes. When I monologue, I do it well. So well in fact I use words I've never used before in a normal conversation. Classy.), I think London is the best capital city I've been to so far, and nothing amuses me more than the British humour (For this I express gratitude to the British Broadcasting Company and their advocates on YouTube.)

How dare I walk this earth? Showing my face ever so publicly like a male peacock when I should be walking with my tail between my legs?

So forgive me father for I have sinned. Then again, so did you.

You know what. I don't think it's wrong to be a hypocrite at all. This video would further prove my point.

Embrace hypocricy people. We all already are anyway.