Mumbles. My mumbles. I mumble a lot.

This is a lot for me to deal with. I feel like I have such a heavy burden on my back (thus the "Backpacking" title), and as I look forward to wade through this humble life of mine, a landslide came over me.

What a day.

I know. I have been emo-ing a lot on this blog. So much, that some of you don't even recognize me anymore. Yes people, I am human too. I might be the guy with smiles across his face, always trying to cheer people up. But then again, as I've already stated, I'm human too. I have feelings. And happiness is NOT the only feeling that i currently posess.

I'm going through life right now at a horrible pace. Imagine. A load on your back. A hole in your heart. A landslide on your head. I can't make much progress now can I?

There are some things in life that you are just not prepared to deal with. Sometimes life can just lay the worst ideas on your head and the worst time.

Take that for bad timing.

I just wanna run away for a while. Don't say I won't and don't say I can't.

I've already started. See you when I get back. Err. God help me be staunch?

-youknowwhothisis-

I have loads of catching up to do. Just a couple of phone calls over the weekend made me realize that.

Called up my granny in Singapore first. Had a bit of a chat. You know, the usual. The how-are-you and did-you-have-enough-to-eat questions. Plus the if-I'm-there-I'd-cook-for-you offer. And her cookings, *sigh*... the best. Then the Aunt. Had a long chat, surprisingly. I got to know the going-ons with my family. The latest buzz and so on. And some things I really didn't know, I just had to assume.

Then my mom. At this point I realized I forgot to wish my dad's birthday. And my other Aunt and her daughters were there to celebrate with my family. Tried to call him up, he was busy with something else at the moment. Never mind, my thought counts. Already told my mom about it anyway.

I am so far away from where I was before. A long way. Gone were the days where people used to tell me what's going on with their lives. Now I had to practically beg to let me know what's going on. Days where there's so many friends to hang out, to just catch up with a drink or two, and times where spending weekends with the family were taken for granted. Things change.

Things have changed.

A lot.

I woke up today feeling ultimately strange. It was 1030hrs. That's early by my standards. And it doesn't really make any sense, since yesterday was a long, long, day for me. The throbbing headaches really doesn't help.

Had a barbeque yesterday. So I had to cook. Yes, I cook. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty impressed by my culinary skills as of late. Mee Hokkien, for about 30 people. Not bad for a 20 year-old bloke. Had compliments doing so as well. The fever I had really didn't assist me in the cooking department.

This terrible headache? I think of the constant load of stress I'm going through. Classes until 2000hrs (yes that's right, 8 p.m), 3 seminars this semester, with 2 subjects waiting to be repeated, plus that cooking feat I had to pull through (which I DID pull through) and I can go on and on rambling about this, but no, I shan't.

Weird. I had a long day, I was sick, I was terribly tired, and I only had about 7-8 hours of sleep. Usually 12 hours would be peanuts. I'm growing up now aren't I?

So this is what it feels like to be old.

This I learnt during Informatics. This thing I learnt has nothing to do with Informatics at all. This might seem stupid, maybe witty to some, but it means the world to me.

Last Thursday I found out.

After growing up for years with Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote, now I found out what it really means. After knowing Pepe le Peu, Tweety Bird, Sylvester the cat, (and the list goes on...) now I know.

What do I know?

I now know what ACME stands for. I don't care what you say, but I chose to believe my Informatics lecturer.

ACME: A Company that Manufactures Everything.

(at least that's what he told us...)

I wonder if it's really true. But I chose to buy it.

Now where is this ACME plant? I tried finding for it in Google Maps.

I don't think I have PMS. Well, not the woman PMS. Last I checked, I'm not even a woman. So no female-type PMS.

But I'm having this absolutely terrible moodswing. I can't seem to figure out what actually triggered it. And I absolutely dread this. This is bad.

Permanent Mood-Swings? Take that for a PMS.

I think the weather here is having a moodswing as well. I went out. It was sunny. It was warm. Not hot, but the comfy warm feeling with a slight breeze. Perfect. I went in a building. I came out ten minutes later. It was gloomy as hell. It started snowing heavily. Less than half an hour later, as I'm writing this, it got sunny again. It'd make you shout "What the hell??", I tell you.

Damn it. I still haven't found my mojo.

*sips tea, listens Big Machine by Goo Goo Dolls*

Somebody complained about me not updating. So here goes.

So. Winter holidays are officially over. O.V.E.R. Demmit. I haven't had enough of waking up in the afternoons. I still want to wander around aimlessly. Take my time doing absolutely nothing. Having long, late showers. Or not having any at all. Bliss.

Today was my first lecture. And I really have to say, I have never been SO demoralized in my life. I really really couldn't figure out why. It's like I've lost all desire to just wake up everyday, what more to attend classes. Really, I think something's taken away my mojo, my groove. Usually it's not like this at all. Usually I'd be excited as a new semester starts. Though disappointed that holidays were over, excited I'd be, nonetheless.

Not this time.

A friend suggested trying to find something that will make me "like" my studies, or enjoy whatever I'm doing. Great, great advice. No, I'm not being sarcastic. Somehow this sort of made me think for a little bit.

I could be THE most evil person in this world. Satanic would be an understatement. Devilish, a definite.

Got you wondering why yet?

Ask me why. Thanks for asking. I realized something. Back home, I'd never feel like this. I'd sorta feel bad about myself, but not to this extent. To be a bit more precise, it makes me feel better if I know that somebody else performs worse than I do. It sorta makes me feel, well, SUPERIOR. Bad, evil as it may sound, it gives me the drive to move. It gives me my mojo. My will to survive.

Here, if that somebody does worse than you, they just go missing. They sort of disappear the next semester. And when you're STILL trying to figure out what happened to them, *bling* here comes exams.

I HAVE to find a scapegoat. Somebody to undermine. Come on!

You know it and I know it. I read the news, and I hope you do too. Pathetic ain't it, knowing how our Motherland is being managed right now?

I just don't see anyone who is actually doing their job right now. No, this soes not ONLY regard local politics. It's about every single aspect that's being managed.

Solution: Let the professionals handle the job. When you have politicians handling sports bodies, naturally you get "honest" footballers. When you have, well, again, politicians answering questions regarding religion and so on, well, they just damn well look stupid.

Let the footballers handle football. Let religious people handle religion. Let the economists handle the Malaysian economics. Take that.

I'm writing this IMMEDIATELY after my move and my first post in my new "home". I was afraid that I'd might forget about it the coming day.

Read the title. Done? Good for you. Thank your kindergarten teacher.

My brain is clogged. Surprisingly. And there's nothing to clog it with in the first place. How does an epmty brain gets clogged? See? I misspelled "empty". Didn't notice it? You need therapy. Shows you guys out there I'm damn right clogged.

Got back from Spain and Portugal some days back. Pleasant trip. Pleasant people. Pleasant sights. Took about a 500+ pics.

I STARED AT IT NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO. The pics i mean. Usually I'd edit them, tweak here and there, put 'em up on flickr and what not, and my day goes towards completion.

Not this time in particular. I clicked on Photoshop. Looked at those pics. *this goes on for hours until I decided to open a blogger acoount*

So okay. I know I wrote in my other old, lame and un-updated blog that I'm not gonna make a move to blogspot. But hell yeah, I just did. This owes to one reason and one reason only: I haven't signed in my Friendster account for ages now. AGES. Thus, no updates there, and I'm sick and tired of their layouts anyway, and so I decided to get over it and move on. Big move.

I have to say, mumbles is a not quite the first name of choice for a blog. Sounds more like a cat's name. But since I have been SO continously associated with cats, and since I DO mumble a lot, what the hey, mumbles it is.