Sieben verdammt lange Tage

Tuesday, September 30, 2014 § 0

"We always want what we can't have, and crap at the ones we can". - movie quote, titled above.

Stay away from me. I'm only going to ruin things for you.

Back then when she left, I told a friend, maybe I was just not meant to be happy. I came to terms with it back then. And it can't be much truer than it is now.

And every single time I give it a try, the constant has always been me. In a scientific experiment, this would have been conclusive by now.

Everyone else is.

But me.

I keep chasing for simplicity, yet making it so much complicated in the end.

But life's like that. Complicated.

I am sorry.

To Him we shall return. And I've got a lot of answering to Him to do.

I do enjoy going to the movies alone. Funny how one a half hours of film could give you so much room, so much ample time to reflect, think.

Project Management

Monday, September 15, 2014 § 0

Tulisan kali ni dalam Bahasa Melayu, sebab aku rasa ia adalah medium perantaraan bagi aku yang paling sesuai.

Biar aku mula dengan cakap kita manusia, kita banyak buat silap.

Silap dengan manusia, silap dengan haiwan, dan semua akan pergi ke silap Dengan Allah S.W.T.

Kita bukan maksum, kita buat dosa.

Dan kita selalu lupa Dia.

Dan kalau Dia sayang kita, Dia akan uji kita untuk ingatkan kita balik dekat Dia.

Dan semua yang berlaku dekat aku baru-baru ni, Allah tunjuk dekat aku sendiri betapa besarnya kuasa Dia.

Dan aku bersyukur atas ujian yang dia bagi, dan aku bersyukur atas apa yang Dia tunjukkan.

Maha suci Allah, Tuhan sekalian alam.

Aku pernah tulis sebelum ni, beberapa post lepas, aku cakap selalu apa yang aku betul-betul nak, aku tak dapat simpan.

Aku cakap dulu kali ni aku ikhlas. Dan Dia dah tunjuk.

Doakan aku jadi hamba yang lagi baik.


Monday, September 8, 2014 § 0

You just want the simplest of things.

Yet, somehow, one way or another, and for the lack of a better word, life just decides to sodomize you.

It does make me feel like I'm too young for this, moving through the hardships of life too quickly, growing up too fast.

All I need is a solution.


Saturday, May 31, 2014 § 0

Kusangka aur di pinggir tebing
Kiranya tebu di pinggir bibir
Kusangka jujur pancaran batin
Rupanya palsu penghias zahir

Kukira hati jiwa nurani
Suci seindah wajah terbayang
Kukira puji seikhlas budi
Kulupa lidah tidak bertulang

Di manis gula semut binasa
Kail berduri bersalut umpan
Di manis kata insan terlena
Kerana budi hamba terkorban

Inikah dia lakunan hidup
Di pentas dunia insan berpura
Tipu dan daya pencapai maksud
Budi dan harta merangkum noda

Tak Seindah Wajah, by Tan Sri S.M. Salim.

Words. They take you on a journey. A great one as such.


Thursday, May 8, 2014 § 0

Amazing, yet also saddening.

In a physical point of view, time is a dimension...

You know what. Try and explain time. Explain it to a five year old. Explain to people like they're five years old.

There was a basically a time where I need not not worry about looking for someone to talk to, have a chat. As it moves on, you meet people, you made friends, and unfortunately lose some along the way. I guess in such a short span of time, so many things change.

And you only realize this when you stop and have a glance backwards.


Sunday, April 27, 2014 § 0

"The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; But a broken spirit who can bear?"

Just some words to live by.


Tuesday, January 7, 2014 § 0

I guess my nerves are somewhat shaken up, yet again.


I guess being in a new place, a new environment, looking up new things, learning different subjects, meeting new people. Normalcy in all its purity, for a man's nerves to be shaken up.

The thing about having things hard is, you sort of know what to expect. But this, it certainly doesn't feel like it's extremely difficult.

And THAT is why it's scary. For me at least.

Typewriter Therapy

Thursday, January 2, 2014 § 0

Happy 2014.

I came to realize it has indeed been such a while, and it is righteous in my opinion, with a literary and movie review. Oh how I've jumped into the bandwagon of glitz and glamour.

I read The Great Gatsby, or at least tried to, some years back. In the most fascinating way possible I found that it never stuck to me, weirdly. Literary heroes beware, I do not blame it on Mr. Fitzgerald, for he's a magnificent author as we already knew. Yet I struggled so much to recognize top from bottom, heads from tails. And to think it wasn't such a thick book to begin with. I actually struggled, and I wholeheartedly blame it upon myself, perhaps due to the lack of focus that I just wasn't able to give. I did not gave it the justice it deserves.

So I guess watching the movie itself, trying to make sense of it, was the next best idea that came to mind. In a way, it worked. And if I was to summarize it in one word: euphoric. The colours, the music, the dances, it was übertrieben in a way, somehow or another. Yet in the midst of the madness, it fits. (Though life, and love, amazingly, is just that isn't it?). Movie was in my opinion, relatable to the book itself. And for that, one does appreciate the works of the industry players.

Have a blessed year ahead.

(P/s: Soundtrack is creepy yet beautiful in a way. And sorry if my review is not as what you've accustomed to. I don't follow standards, although my line of work requires me to ironically)


Saturday, August 3, 2013 § 0

I guess we all already know, that He works in many mysterious ways.

I know I've been somewhat lucky to have made it thus far. For that I can't thank Him enough.

I've gotten many things that I wanted so far, but also shown that I don't get to keep most of them.

But this time. This time. I pray that this time, things would finally change.

Kerna aku ikhlas.


Saturday, July 20, 2013 § 0

This is a behaviour that I can not condone, nor tolerate. It's appalling how people get away with this way too often.

I've experienced and witnessed how friends, families, of the male species get punished for crimes they did not commit. How they are prepared to vow for eternal commitment, only to be left hanging as current circumstance do not permit. Giving it everything, asking for only patience in return.

And yet, how are they still punished so? Led on false hope only to be left hanging. Putting all commitments only to see it thrown down the drain.

The difference is that we do not bitch about it, thus we suffer in silence.

Unjust, unfair.

The reason I'm writing this is not to bitch about it. It's to let know, that though we do not freely share our expressions, does not mean it's of no value, one that is to be simply marched upon.

It is to let know, that though you can't see it, hear it, our sufferings do exist.

It is upon your request that we let our guards down, and as we do break down that wall, you just decide to leave a gaping hole there. With no conscience whatsoever.

And it is unjustly so. Because there is no greater harm that you can do to a man than to break his spirits.