Tuesday, January 7, 2014 § 0

I guess my nerves are somewhat shaken up, yet again.


I guess being in a new place, a new environment, looking up new things, learning different subjects, meeting new people. Normalcy in all its purity, for a man's nerves to be shaken up.

The thing about having things hard is, you sort of know what to expect. But this, it certainly doesn't feel like it's extremely difficult.

And THAT is why it's scary. For me at least.

Typewriter Therapy

Thursday, January 2, 2014 § 0

Happy 2014.

I came to realize it has indeed been such a while, and it is righteous in my opinion, with a literary and movie review. Oh how I've jumped into the bandwagon of glitz and glamour.

I read The Great Gatsby, or at least tried to, some years back. In the most fascinating way possible I found that it never stuck to me, weirdly. Literary heroes beware, I do not blame it on Mr. Fitzgerald, for he's a magnificent author as we already knew. Yet I struggled so much to recognize top from bottom, heads from tails. And to think it wasn't such a thick book to begin with. I actually struggled, and I wholeheartedly blame it upon myself, perhaps due to the lack of focus that I just wasn't able to give. I did not gave it the justice it deserves.

So I guess watching the movie itself, trying to make sense of it, was the next best idea that came to mind. In a way, it worked. And if I was to summarize it in one word: euphoric. The colours, the music, the dances, it was übertrieben in a way, somehow or another. Yet in the midst of the madness, it fits. (Though life, and love, amazingly, is just that isn't it?). Movie was in my opinion, relatable to the book itself. And for that, one does appreciate the works of the industry players.

Have a blessed year ahead.

(P/s: Soundtrack is creepy yet beautiful in a way. And sorry if my review is not as what you've accustomed to. I don't follow standards, although my line of work requires me to ironically)


Saturday, August 3, 2013 § 0

I guess we all already know, that He works in many mysterious ways.

I know I've been somewhat lucky to have made it thus far. For that I can't thank Him enough.

I've gotten many things that I wanted so far, but also shown that I don't get to keep most of them.

But this time. This time. I pray that this time, things would finally change.

Kerna aku ikhlas.


Saturday, July 20, 2013 § 0

This is a behaviour that I can not condone, nor tolerate. It's appalling how people get away with this way too often.

I've experienced and witnessed how friends, families, of the male species get punished for crimes they did not commit. How they are prepared to vow for eternal commitment, only to be left hanging as current circumstance do not permit. Giving it everything, asking for only patience in return.

And yet, how are they still punished so? Led on false hope only to be left hanging. Putting all commitments only to see it thrown down the drain.

The difference is that we do not bitch about it, thus we suffer in silence.

Unjust, unfair.

The reason I'm writing this is not to bitch about it. It's to let know, that though we do not freely share our expressions, does not mean it's of no value, one that is to be simply marched upon.

It is to let know, that though you can't see it, hear it, our sufferings do exist.

It is upon your request that we let our guards down, and as we do break down that wall, you just decide to leave a gaping hole there. With no conscience whatsoever.

And it is unjustly so. Because there is no greater harm that you can do to a man than to break his spirits.


Sunday, June 2, 2013 § 0

Of course I've given thoughts about it.

Many-a times in fact.

But on why has it never quite been followed through, or given a start, well, we just don't quite know do we?


Monday, March 11, 2013 § 1

Es geht nicht um "jetzt" oder "später". Es geht nicht um die Zeit.

Es geht um die falsche Hoffnungen, und die gebrochene Herzen.

Und genau da fehlt die Gerechtigkeit.


Thursday, March 7, 2013 § 0

Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in the old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are,
One equal-temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Excerpt from Ulysses, Alfred Lord Tennyson

See Apostrophe Dee

Sunday, February 24, 2013 § 0

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-Invictus. William Ernest Henley. 1888.


Thursday, February 14, 2013 § 0

There is no greater pleasure; Than uncovering a literary treasure.

Just when I though the internet was filled with racist comments, I found a poetry genius lurking in the undergrowth of what is a jungle of pessimism.

This gave me hope, life.

Ever met someone, who wrote poetry, as if she has flipped through the pages of your own life?


Friday, January 18, 2013 § 2

It's good that you're there.

Your presence reminds me of a person: My own self, way back then.

A person that I could not find the energy, the desire nor the strength to go back to.

But it's good to be reminded of the good old days.